I'm out of disk space in my brain...

If you were to ask me how I was doing, ask me what's up, how life is treating me? I'd be very likely to crumble to the ground and scream like that crazy lady who often stands naked on Colfax yelling at the buses. The thing is, I'm afraid my brain pushed out all my knowledge about sanity and how to properly handle stress so it could make room for all this airline industry information.

I'm not sure if I am trading up or trading down. And why can't I forget the useless things like my ex-boyfriend's phone number, or the address of that crappy apartment in California that I grew up in? I mean, those bits of information are useless to me, but I fear my sanity and stress coping skills may be needed again some day.

Either I have a small brain or.... Ok, I must just have a small brain.


I didn't see it coming...

You know when you get a completely unexpected email from someone who you never expected to get an email from? And you know when that someone apologizes in that email about all the horrible things she said and did? And you know how you want to believe that person has really changed, that they won't try to use and abuse your friendship, but you just can't? And you know how that person wants to meet up and have a cup of coffee with you because they really do miss your friendship? And you know how you want to do it out of curiosity, but every fiber of your body tells you it's a bad idea? And you know how you don't know how to respond, don't know a nice way to say no because you don't have anything nice to say to them, so you just don't? Yeah, it was pretty much like that.


My first ever video blog!

Here it is! My long awaited video blog. Saddly, the only evidence that I was even there was my obnoxious voice in the background egging my brother-in-law on. It's a bit long, but it's one hell of a good story, so enjoy!


It's not the first time I've been caught doing this...

I am an air head, and being an air head has it's own side effects. Mainly, when your mind wanders off into space so do your eyes.

Which explains why yesterday, when my boss pulled me aside to ask me why I'm always staring at him, I had no idea I was even staring at him.

So while my boss thought I was giving him the sexy eye I was probably wandering the happy place in my mind where Vin Disel and I are making sweet, sweet love.


Too busy....

I owe you all a very long post, and I had better make it funny, witty, and snappy!

I got you covered, as I just bought two new fancy (and expensive) pieces of equipment. I got myself a FlipVideo, and an iPod Touch!

That means video blogs..... (here is your que to go OOOOHHHHHH with your lips puckered in the shape of an O as you lean far back in your chair)

And the iPod Touch gets Wifi, that means when I'm sitting in the car and have a breakthrough idea for a blog I can hop on my iPod and make a post BEFORE I forget what I was thinking.


How to piss me off...

Make me sit around and wait for you, I really do have better things to do with my precious time.

I bet they say the same thing about me.

Mommy really needs a drink...

Philosophical debates...

Here is the thing, I'm sick and tired of my sister bothering me with her philosophical POV, but she can't help it. The one and only thing she is good at, besides bitching your ear off, is debating. So, I've decided to give her the opportunity to "debate her POV on my blog with one of my readers. Now, all I need is a reader, any volunteers?


Yesterday, I woke up with a hang over and decided to say fuck on the idea of going to work. Instead I sat about playing on the internet and then I headed down to the Frontier building to go through all of my paperwork and take a drug test...

Can I just say, drug tests have become so formal these days. The last time I took a drug test some lady handed me a Dixie cup and sent me to an outhouse around back. But yesterday the lady had a special cup that came sealed. I had to put all my belongings in a file cabinet before going to the bathroom, where I could not was my hands, use toilet paper, or flush the toilet, until after the nurse came to "check things out".

Funny thing about the whole ordeal was checking in. When I looked up at the clock to see what time to write on the form it was 4:20pm.

Then I had my finger prints taken with a spiffy little machine that required no ink, and next I'll be taking a physical (turn your head and cough)...

Life is crazy busy with the new job, trying to finish up a few chapters for the book I'm co-authoring, and now I've been offered money to put adds on my blog.

Plus, yesterday was the one year anniversary of a very devastating day for me. Ironically, I had an IM conversation with the person who caused all my misery. He asked me a very interesting question: If I could date anyone int he whole world, who would I date?

It's an interesting question to ponder, and I wonder if he took my response serious or thought I was joking. That will stay on my mind for a while.

He did ask me to come visit him once I was finished with flight attendant school. So now, I've got to plan a trip to Phiily and try to keep a level head about everything.

Anyways, wish me luck...


The brutally honest post....

This is one of those posts that require an upfront disclosure, particularly to the particular someone that Ive been seeing. Here is the thing darling, I am about to get brutally honest with my feelings. So I recommend you take a moment and seriously consider your options here. You could close this web page and go look at some porn, or you could read on. But be cautious and remember, if you continue, there is no going back...

Are you sure about this?
OK, but don't say I didn't warn you, because I so did...

It's a been a few months, and for me, this is the point where one of two things happen. Well, most of the time only one thing happens: I run. The other option, which rarely happens, is me giving myself the chance to get emotionally involved.

And we all know my Daddy didn't hug me enough as a kid, mostly because he left, and when you're not around it's kind of hard to distribute hugs. But whatever, I thought I was OK without him around; probably a lot like the way he thought I was OK without him. But in a way, I really do feel like my father's absence is part responsible for my inability to get emotionally involved. I guess I feel like he didn't love me enough to stick around so why would any other man? That fear was only rooted deeper inside of me when someone who I spent a decade loving also left.

That was hard on me. I don't think most people understand just how hard it was on me. Think Romeo and Juliet. Only, when Juliet professed her feelings to Romeo he may have been a bit tipsy and insisted that ten years was not possibly long enough for her to know him well enough to be head over heels. That is, until he got loaded and came back to the balcony crying and insisted he loved the fair Juliet and not this other broad who had threated Juliet at a ball if she didn't stay away from Romeo.

And then when Romeo is banished from Verona, he doesn't ever give his poor Juliet a proper goodbye, and after she drank the potion he never came back for her. So when Juliet woke up alone, she was like WTF?

Yeah, it was something like that, minus the sword fighting, but with a lot more booze and stretched over the span of ten years. So would it really surprise anyone that little ol' me would be afraid to invest my feelings into another man, another man who could also leave me in his dusty path?

It's that fear that's kept me in relationships I knew I'd never get emotionally invested in, and it's ended others that could have been very prosperous.

So here I am back at the point where I feel that urge to walk away because it's the safest option. I guess it's kind of like a when you're a kid and you stick a fork in the power socket. It fucking hurts, and in some cases you're lucky to be alive. So would you go and stick a fork in the socket ever again? Hell no, you learned your lesson the first time. Only, as you get older you're not afraid to use the socket how it's intended. you still plug your radio and computer into it, and the rechargeable batteries for your vibrator. But me, I have to get past the fear of getting shocked whenever I go near a power socket (metaphorically speaking). I'm lame man's terms, I'm still learning how to overcome my irrational urge to sever any relationship I may find myself in. I'm afraid if I get shocked again I might not be so lucky to survive it.

And you wouldn't believe the things I do to avoid falling for someone. Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is always looking for a reason to dislike the person she is dating until she finds a great guy who is perfect? She puts an end to their relationship because he didn't put any exclamation points on the end of a message he wrote to her on a sticky note about her friend having a baby. I have been known to do the same damn thing. Give me the man of my dreams and I'll give you ten reasons why I can't be with him. He has a smile like my ex-husband's, He has a tattoo I didn't like, he drives the exact same car my metaphorical Romeo drives. Really, you would not believe the things I tell myself. And all of it has kept me from having the one thing I've always wanted but never had in life.

And I know I may get chastised for writing what I am about to write because I am suppose to be a modern twenty-first century kind of woman. And everyone knows a modern woman is the only kind of woman to be these days, with their fancy careers and Prada heels. They drive BMW's and have fifteen boyfriends. They enjoy sex without emotion and hate the word commitment (think Samantha from Sex and the City).

But I don't fit that modern woman mold, I care very little for most of that stuff. This is not to say I'm without goals, but material things and power mean nothing to me if I am not surrounded with people I love. Of all the things I want out of life, a family is one of them. I want to wake up every day next to someone I love. I want to grow old with someone. And get ready for this one...

I'd even like to try the "having a kid" thing one more time, only, I'd like to do it the right way.

Those days are far away, but I've come to the realization that I will never have any of those things if I don't get over the emotional scars of my past and try to move on.

Because, I'm sick of running, I'm far too lazy for all this running. I just want to stop and take a breath already. You know, smell the roses and all that crap.

And there is someone I'd like to stop and take a breath with for a while, maybe the fresh oxygen will help mend my broken soul.


Tamy, welcome to the mile high club...

So, the call came yesterday! I've been waiting months to find out when my fligth attendant training would start.

March 31st people!

Are you guys as excited as I am?

Only, I'll be a little sad to leave Sun, I'm having quite a good time there.


What would you do?

Have you seen that movie "The Bucket List" yet? Don't worry, neither have I, I don't really like that Jack Nicholson guy, he has a clown's smile. Just creepy. But my point is, that movie has sparked an interesting question here in the office.

What would you put on your list of "things to do" if your life was soon coming to an end?

Mine list would be very short.I'd only have two things on my list to accomplish, both of which could be taken care of by a phone call. That's like what, fifteen minutes tops? And then I can spend the rest of my time doing lots of drugs and having lots of wreckless sex.

But what would you do? What things would be on your list?

And what about this lady who spent two years on the toilet? Could you imagine? And that sparked another debate in our office.

If you had to spend the next two years in one place, where would it be?

At first, I thought this lady was bat shit insane. I mean, she spent two years on the toilet. I'd totally choose to spend those two years in bed or on the couch in front of the TV, but on the toilet? Then I got to thinking about it and realized this lady was smart. Sure, I'd be cozy in bed while she is stuck on the lou, but what would I do when I had to take a crap? I would so be shit out of luck.

but where would you want to spend two years of your life, if you had to pick one place?

Apple Vs. Mexico

A group of my co-workers were standing around discussing a particular website we use for support of our customers. I'll give you a hint, it starts with a lowercase i, and apparently any word starting with a lowercase i belongs to Apple. What I want to know is, how does one own a word?

Anyways, Apple and us are in dispute over the site, and I hear it's causing a great deal of uproar. One of my co -workers was nice enough to give us his opinion of the situation...

"Don't try using iHelp, iSupport, iFuckoff, iAnything, Apple might sue. Could you imagine the headlines? Apple sues Mexico for use of i,i,i (pronounced ey, ey, ey!)"

Weenit's conversation fo the day..

Dude co-worker: "I usually don't remember what I dream about, but it's usually pretty mystical."

Me: "Mystical?"

Dude co-worker: "Yeah, like castles and fair maidens and stuff."

Me:"Right(rolling my eyes). I dream about everything, it would be hard to categorize it."

Old lady co-worker:" I usually just dream about sex..."

Me and Dude co-worker give her a weird look.

Old lady co-worker: "Well, when you're my age that's all you get."


I wanted to be a...

I'll never forget that day. I was seven years old, snooping around in the closet of my stepfather's 26 year old roommate. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something hiding under the dresser. What was it? My tiny fingers plucked it out from beneath it's dark cave. The sight to meet my young eyes was almost incomprehensible. What was he doing to that girl? What happened to all their clothes? These should have been the thoughts running through my mind, but they weren't.

It was that pornographic magazine that first sparked my interest in photography. Parents, that right there is a very good reason you should remember to lock up your porn like you lock up your guns!

I know it's strange, but the first thing I thought when I flipped open that magazine and scanned through the worn pages of boobs and butts was, "I bet I could have taken that picture so much better!"

And even though I was only seven, had never held a camera, and knew nothing of the art of photography, I was sure I could have done a better job. In retrospect, those magazines were not of the highest caliber, I bet a blind man with Polaroid could have done a better job.

Of course, as a child, when people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up porn photographer was never my answer. A little girl can't go about sharing that kind of information. Could you imagine? One time, when I was in fifth grade, we had to give a presentation to the rest of the class about the profession we wanted when we grew up. What if I had gone up there with a display of pornographic magazines? How would my parents explain that one to the officials?

In fact, to this day, I can't tell people what I wanted to do when I grew up because they would think I was a liar. I usually just tell them I had no dreams or aspirations as a kid except not growing up, which I failed at miserably.


Third annual...

Hey guys, did you know it's Tamy day, again? Yep, it's the third anniversary of my very own special holiday, so I slept in an extra hour. I think that was a fantastic way to start my special day, we'll see what my boss thinks about that.

And when I got to work I discovered a protein shake in my backpack that I didn't know was there, that was another highlight of my day. And now, I must go hunt down some cake, because what would Tamy day be without cake?


in the world of blogging...

I've been picking up on a few new blogs, and I have to admit, I have a bit of a crush on Lozo. He's funny and witty, and undeniably cocky, and I may just start stalking him on MySpace (where he was nice enough to give me the second spot on his friends list). I get the feelings this has something to do with my hot profile picture, and nothing at all to do with him thinking I am the second coolest person he knows on the net. But whatever, I am so cool. Anyways, I've added his site to my blog list, so check him out.

And though you guys may not care, one of my favorite and boldest British lady bloggers, Girl With a One Track Mind has announced she loves New York City so much she plans to make the great migration across the Atlantic ocean to join us here with our Ford Rangers and freedom of speech. I can't wait. Maybe some day I'll get to met her.

One other lady blogger I would love to cross paths with is Heather B. Armstrong of Dooce, who recently won several awards in the 2008 Bloggie awards, including best American weblog and weblog of the year. Go Heather!

And now, back to the weather...

Working at Sun...

people are always asking me what I do here at sun. I often give them some exaggerated and complicated answer like Administrative contract booking support IT management analysis representative. I know, it makes no sense what so ever, and that is the point.

But here is what I really do all day here at Sun...

The sex was soo not worth all this...

My kid is still having a hard time adjusting to the time change, so it's not much of a surprise that he burst into my room at 11:33pm last night. What was odd was his request. He wanted me to turn his fan on.

Hello. It's the middle of friggin' winter here in Colorado. That, and our thermostat turns off at night. It's already cold enough. After stumbling out of bed and across the frozen tundra to his room I discovered his ceiling fan no longer works. The bugger is broken, which is Ok by me. It wasn't, however, Ok by him. I know this because not but an hour later he came bouncing into my room and up on my bed. Sleeping with me isn't something he's tried to do for some time now, maybe because angels heard my prayers?

Normally, I would have sent him off to his own bed but last night I was far too tired to argue about it. I can't count for you the number of times I was woken last night with tiny feet in my face, or abruptly disturbed by a sudden miniature snore.

I was half hoping he would fall off the bed so at least I could get a good laugh in through out the whole ordeal.

And do you know what my first thought was this morning (aside from the various ways I could make my kid disappear)? I thought to myself, "I can't wait till this day is over so I can go to bed."

And then it occurred to me that starting off your day by thinking about the next time you get to go back to sleep may not be the best way to go.

Does anyone have a frying pan? One of those really heavy iron ones? I hear those are good for knocking out cranky bitches like myself. I could use a little nap.

Check it out...

I've recently participated in the act of guest blogging for the gang over at hipsterpad.com, it was good fun. So, if you would like to know about my most recent hair cut go check it out and let them know what you think. After all, I'd like to be invited back again.


An Inconvenient Truth...

I watched Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" last night. Upon the end of the DVD I have to stop and ask America, How did Bush beat him in the Presidential election of 2000? It just does not make sense to me. First of all, Al Gore can get up in front of a crowd of people and give a speech and not sound like an idiot. Second, he cares so much about the human race, I bet he would have had better solutions to some of the problems our country has encountered since Bush has been in office.

I could spend the whole day writing about the many ways I dislike Bush, could kick his ass on an SAT test, and quite possibly just kick his ass, but I won't. I'm writing about Al Gore and his stand on global warming, which is undeniable once you watch the documentary.

And for those of you who hear the word documentary and suddenly feel like you are dying of boredom, don't run away screaming just yet. This flick is worth watching, especially if you think you know how global warming works. I know I thought I did, then I watched this film and was surprised by the wealth of information I absorbed.

but what stunned me most was the fact that America is the number one contributor of Pollution in the world. And not just by a little bit, but by a lot! We should be ashamed. We are single handedly destroying the world we live in, and then what? What will be the solution when it is too hot to step outside? What will we do when our coasts are flooded and millions of people loose their homes? What will we do when the hurricanes and tornadoes destroy our lands? these are things that will happen unless we work with our government to pass laws and regulations that can help.

While all that can take it's time, I think we could all use a few eco-friendly adjustments in our own homes. So first, I'd recommend everyone go watch the movie. And then, check out the following sites to help you "go green" and save the planet our children will someday inherit.




Two years, and stronger than ever...

Today in a meeting where we were discussing very important things, things I care to know nothing about, I realized while dazing off into space that today is the official two year anniversary of this blog.

I say "official" because when my blog first started I had it registered as it's own domain Weenit.com, but lost a ton of money on a bet involving the Denver Broncos one year and could no longer afford the outrageous fees Yahoo was charging me, so a bit down the road it became a Blogspot blog. So, even though the address may have changed, I've been sharing with you my feelings and secrets for two years now. For a girl who can hardly commit to dinner, committing to two years of blog up keeping is amazing. And I don't intend to stop.

And of course, as much as I dislike him sometimes, I feel obligated to thank Christopher who, quite possibly in a drunken haze, gave me the nickname Weenit. He was also one of the driving forces that suggested I start this blog. So to Christopher, thanks dude.

The story of Pasquell...

There once was a Duck, his alcoholic caretaker named him Pasquell. We're not sure why, but we think he got the name from a porn.

Pasquell was a relatively happy duck considering his circumstances. He enjoyed typical duck activities like splashing in the toilet and quacking out the window at people walking by. He even had a girlfriend named Kitty. Kitty had fur instead of feathers, and meowed instead of quacking, but Pasquell loved her just the same. Kitty and Pasquell often spent the evenings hiding under the couch, where their bodies and limbs were safe from the dangerous and often intoxicated guests of his caretaker.

But unlike his caretaker, Pasquell didn't much care for beer. He had experimented with it back in his younger duck years, until one morning he woke up next to Oscar the Dog with some sore feathers and no recollection of the evenings events. That was when Kitty introduced him to "the nip". Pasquell really loved the kitty nip and gave up drinking all together. In a way he felt like he owed his life to Kitty for saving him from the evils of alcohol. Little did he know booze would still have a suffocating hand on his untimely death.

One night, Pasquell's caretaker partook in a rigorous series of beer pong competitions and lost badly. Beer pong, being a favorite pastime of college men everywhere, was not the only pastime on Pasquell's caretaker's mind that night as he drunkenly tried to pick up on every hot piece of ass at the party. But his efforts were futile; apparently, hot ass doesn't like to go home with sloppy drunk. So, it was just the caretaker and Pasquell, as Kitty was off prancing around town doing cat things. Pasquell was never quite sure what Kitty was up to when she would run off for an evening or two once a month to prowl the alleys, and though he had his suspicions, he tried to trust that Kitty was simply rummaging through garbage cans and starting fights with other felines. He'd even tried to join her once or twice but Kitty had insisted his webbed feet could never keep up with her stealth like claws.

That evening Pasquell found himself in the hands of a very intoxicated caretaker. On any other given night this might have annoyed Pasquell, but earlier Pasquell had come across Kitty's stash. It's needless to say Pasquell was feeling a little frisky, and having a warm human to cuddle up next to didn't seem like such a bad idea. Plus, if Pasquell used his imagination, the snoring of his human caretaker slightly resembled Kitty's purring. Pasquell didn't struggle as his caretaker tucked him tenderly into the bed and cuddled up next to him. Sure, it was odd of a caretaker to cuddle up next to a duck for the night, and sure, Kitty might have been jealous to see the whole affair. Kitty didn't much care for the caretaker. In fact, Kitty didn't even like the word "caretaker". It was her strict belief that this drunken slob was not her caretaker because she didn't need a caretaker. She was an independent feline.

But on that night, none of those social cliches mattered to Pasquell. Maybe it was because he felt so lonely without Kitty, maybe it was because he had a bit too much of the nip.

Early the next morning Kitty came home stinking of garbage. She searched the entire apartment for Pasquell but he was nowhere to be found. She began sniffing around and picked up his scent. It led her straight to the bedroom. She thought maybe the caretaker had thrown another ragging party and Pasquell has sought out refuge under the bed. But his scent led her onto the bed rather than under. The caretaker was the only one she saw. He was laying on his back snoring loudly, a sure sign he was drinking heavily the night before. She could smell the booze on him, but she could also smell Pasquell on him. Had the caretaker eaten Pasquell? Why would he do such a thing? Pasquell tasted nothing like chicken. This, Kitty knew because she had once taken a bite out of him prior to their love affair. He tasted foul and rubbery, and at that moment Kitty knew Pasquell was not meant to be eaten, but loved.

Kitty was furious as she scratched the feet of the caretaker, causing him to jump up and disturb his drunken sleep. that was when Kitty saw it; Pasquell's cold feathery body was lying flat as a pancake. The groves of the caretakers ass left an indent in his feathery hide. Although relieved the caretaker hadn't actually eaten Pasquell, Kitty was still mortified.

The image of his lifeless body would forever haunt her as she lived out the rest of her years acting out against the human race. Between her crippling depression and her increasing use of the nip, Kitty eventually found herself in a pound where she was then adopted by the "cat lady" who was equally insane as Kitty had grown.

Lesson learned here people: Don't drink and cuddle with your duck. You never know who you could hurt.


Blogging: more fun than a giggling baby...

You may have noticed my hits counter on my menu bar, I love that thing. It does so much more than count my visitors. It also keeps track of other interesting data, like links leading to my site, and even Google searches that result in some unfortunate soul visiting my site. Some of the Google searches that lead people to my site are very amusing, but my favorite was the one I saw today when someone Googled "orgy" and ended up here at Weenit. I bet that pervert was very disappointed to see that my site does not, in fact, contain any mad orgies.

Sorry dude...


Weenit's quote of the day...

You all know how much I really hate people, that's why it's amazing I went and had lunch with a group of co-workers. I feared the worst when the conversation turned to God, until this was said...

"I think God is gay, and every time you see and rainbow God is having sex."

I heart country...

I have been one busy girl. These slave drivers here at Sun are slamming me with work; it's a bottomless pit of fucked up serial numbers. On top of all this I have been victim to one hard core cold, it's totally owned me. And, I've been a busy bee getting everything prepared for Shawna and her new book project I will be working with her on. I'll tell you more about that after we meet Sunday. Until then, bare with me. In the mean time, I'll be working my ass off and jamming away to some country music. You may be asking "why country, Tamy?"

Because, one of my boss' here at Sun happens to be in a country band. If you were to meet him you'd never guess. He looks more like one of those Boulder hippies who rocks out to Sublime while passing the joint in "the circle", but no. And if I hadn't known it was him on the CD, I never would have guessed it. I wonder, does he pimp out in cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat when he gets on stage? This, I would pay to see.


We don't have mad orgys on Sunday...

Friend: All my friends that are married seem happy and say they are happy, but they complain all the time about not getting laid.

Me: My brother in law complains about that all the time, but he only does it in front of my sister. I know they have plenty of sex, so I think he does it just to tease her.

Friend: How do you know they have lots of sex?

Me: I live with them, I hear it all the time.

Friend: That must get annoying.

Me: No, I'm use to it. Sometimes I fuck with them...

And then everyone was at a loss for words...

You damn perverts, that is not what I meant!

Take that cyber bully! And other tales of victory!

Things over here at the Weenery have been a little less than pleasant; we are all sick. And when my sister came home from the doctor yesterday and announced she had strep throat, the only thought crossing through my mind was "mother f#!&*$ son of a b#&$%!!!" I know; it's just strep. You go to the doctor, he does a quick swab, he gives you a bottle full of antibiotics. Problem solved, right? Wrong, at least if you are me, then nothing is that easy. Which leads me to my first tale of victory of the day...

As of March first my health insurance with my new company should have gone into effect. I say "should" because that is not the case. It's been a while since I have been through the process of registering for health benefits. I may be a bit rusty on how things work, but one would assume your employer would send you an enrollment package several weeks before your benefits go into effect, giving you plenty of time to return them before the enrollment date.

Apparently, all this use of common sense does not apply if you work for the company I do. I say this because today is the fifth of March, count the days people, that is five days AFTER enrollment and I have just received my enrollment package in my email. And the only reason I got my enrollment package today was because I called our benefits department yesterday and ripped our benefits lady a new one. I have been arguing with this same woman for the last three weeks, and every time I talk to her she has a new bullshit excuse. At first it had something to do with systems being down. This, I can understand. But then a week later she told me it was in the mail, and a week later, she admitted my name was sitting somewhere in the bottom of a pile and she hadn't gotten to me yet.

Considering that I am a person who needs close to a thousand dollars worth of prescription medication every month just so I can breathe, I was not happy to hear what she had to say, and I had no problem telling her just how I felt. For once in my life, being a raging bitch paid off. And it's a good thing, as I may have strep.

And now, on to victory number two for the day...

Remember my post about Myspace cyber-bullying? Just like whenever I get a spam email, or some guy tries to hit on me, I sent a complaint to Myspace. This morning, when I checked my inbox, I discovered this email from Myspace:


We have received and reviewed your report of inappropriate content. This content has been removed. We thank you for your support in helping to keep MySpace a safe and fun community!


Now, all I have to say is, "take that cyber-bully! You say I look like a man, and I am not above tattle telling. Naner naner poo poo!"

Ok, maybe that was a very minor victory in comparison to tricking my kid into taking his medication yesterday, or saving a hundred people in my dream last night. However, it goes to show that people are still expected to have some sense of decency, even on the web.

Now if you will excuse me, I think a hyena broke into our house and is now couching up a lung, or maybe it's just my kid, it's hard to say.


It's all a bunch of voodoo...

Growing up in my family I have heard and even been forced to try just about every home remedy, natural cure, and organic supplement. Around here, I call it all a bunch of voodoo. But if you ask my mom, colloidal silver will fix anything, my sister will tell you it's all about having the right combination of vitamins, and my ex-boyfriend will insists eating ten tons of garlic will cure any cold. I, on the other hand, am not falling for any of it. Which is why I was so glad to find this video clip on Yahoo today that denounces the popular cold remedy my ex-husband tried to get me to take whenever I was feeling a bit under the weather. I hate to tell you all, but I told you so...

Psstt... If the video doesn't want to play, go to this link here...

A pornographic tragedy...

The other night Mack and I took a little trip down to the local porn store to find something for our viewing pleasure. We had a good idea what we were looking for when we went in there. No anal, nothing loaded with blowjobs, and not to be racist, but no big black cocks giving it to white chiks. Twenty minutes later we left with one of those porns that had a story line, it was called "Corruption" and featured a bit about a man running for President. If you can't figure it out by now, he was corrupt, and ugly.

When it comes to male porn stars, you can't expect too much. They are hired solely on cocktalent, looks have nothing to do with it. Take Ron Jeremy as a good example. He is the worlds most famous male porn star, and man, he is one ugly fuck, but he gets to fuck a lot of hot tail, so who's to judge?

That aside, this movie was full of everything we did not want. There was a black bodyguard screwing some white chick, almost every scene featured anal, and what was up with the blowjobs? These were not your normal blowjobs people. I wanted to throw up just watching it. I think I even saw one girl cry real tears of pain.
So, forty dollars later, we were very disappointed. And they won't let us return it. So what do people do with bad porn? Is there a place where people send their bad porn? Or maybe we can donate it to a good cause?


Dreaming of pixie dust..

I dreamed last night that a good friend of mine, Lindsay, and I had gone on a trip to India. While we were in India I ran into my good friend Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell gave me some pixie dust, which I proceeded to sprinkle on Lindsay and myself. We then flew above India, and saw the Taj Mahal, in the summer evening sky. It was magnificent.

Why can't I have more dreams like that?

A misunderstanding...

I was having a rather stressful evening the other night, it felt as though every one wanted to whine in my ear, and I hate it when people do that. So when Mack came over and started to pick on me I said, "I could use just a little slack."

And do you know what he did? He slapped me, and on the face! It didn't leave a mark, but it was hard enough to sting a bit. I looked up at him and asked what that was for. And he said I had asked for a "little slap."

This, ladies, is a perfect example of why men need to pay closer attention to the things coming out of our mouths.


Office Space...

I'm working here at Sun today, on a Saturday. Yes, tragic, I know. But as I was heading back to my desk I noticed something written on a dry erase board between a row of cubicles. It read, "Ah, yeah, were going to have to move you down to storage room B..."

It's nice to find a little humor in the work place. it just made my Saturday a bit brighter.