On rasing children

I'm not one to get serious very often but for some reason a very serious realization struck me. be warned that if you read my blog only for humor and bizarre insight you might want to stop now. Anyways, it struck that of all the things I have done wrong in my life, the way I handled my family was the worst. By family I mean the one my ex-husband and I had when we got married and gave birth to our son. Now, I am in no way implying that I never should have divorced him because that would be less of a good ideal than divorce itself, but isn't there a better way? I never stopped to consider what it must be like for my son, going from one house to the other every week, from the constant change in routine, rules, and atmosphere. It must be hard for him. I only wish there had been a better way.


My baby sister is getting married...

And she has asked me to be her maid of honor. if ever there was a queen of the bridezillas competition I'm sure she would win it hands down, and I said yes to being her maid of honor. Now don't get me wrong, I was completely stunned and honored that she even asked me considering how much I drive her crazy, but what did I get myself into? I'm going to look on the bright side, at least now she can't ask me to be the photographer, that is the one job worse than maid of honor. I just hope the cake is really good, and I mean really good, because that is the only way I am going to make it through this. It's like ice cream after your tonsils are removed (only better).


My mom and her power tools...

So, my mom decided to make a pathetic attempt at chopping her fingers off last Saturday with her table saw. They are still intact but not mobile. And to her the worst part of the whole thing is now she has 3 weeks off work and can't find anything other to do than sleep to occupy her time. And that is a bad thing how?


Vacation is over, damn!

Thanks to the holidays, the snow, and my surgery I have spent most of the last month sitting around, enjoying life, and in general being as lazy as I possibly can. But all good things must come to an end right? I go back to work today and I'm not looking forward to it. I was quite enjoying the lazy life, sleeping till noon, watching court tv during the day, staying up all night, and wearing pajamas all day long. Now it's time to shape up, put some real pants on, and join the rest of the world, think I'll make it?


Men of Children...

First of all, I would like to say wow, amazing movie. And as my sister pointed out, they managed to make the most realistic fake birth I have ever seen in a movie. My next question would be, how would she know? It's not like she has ever given birth her self, or seen it in person. But really, it is a great movie. I have just one question, and remember Hollywood, I have money on this one. Can some one who had anything to do with the production of the movie tell me what the hell is up with the ending? Is it some sort of crule joke the producers are playing on us? Or did the budget run low, you ran out of film, and thought, "What the hell, lets just end it here! saves us a trip to the film shop, and twenty pounds."
Come on now really, I was left feeling like there should have been something more to the end. I need to be reassured that boat wasn't the British police, or some alternative political party, or God forbid dirty fisherman.

Why do I get the feeling someone somewhere is getting a good laugh out of this?


As if I had any doubt in my mind that my family WASN'T completely insane, they did their best to reassure me this morning that I could be wrong. I discovered what happens when the man of the house tries to wear the pants, he finds him self wearing his wife jeans, literally. Granted, Dan was looking pretty damn good wearing his wife's jeans, better than her in fact. The sad part of the matter is that with all this flaming homosexuality and metro sexuality floating around in the world today I didn't realize he was wearing woman's jeans. Had this happened ten years ago those jeans would have popped out at me in a second. But this morning all I could do was look at him and think, "did he get a hair cut? What's new? What ever it is it's working for him." I'm thinking next time my sister is shacked up with homework and him and I are feeling a bit randy he might have to put on her jeans, dust off the old coon hat, and we'll paint the town. Now the coon hat was lady killer enough for him, but imagine if he was wearing my sister's jeans... it would be free drinks for us all night long.

And I know, it's breakfast, not breftast (unless you're my sister). Sad thing is, before she took those speech classes in elementary she could say the damn word just fine. Want to know the funniest part about it? She gave up stripping to go work at a local breakfast only joint down here where she can mispronounce the word all day long.

I really do love my family, with out them the only thing I would have to blog about would be swollen fallopian tubes and politics, and I just found out about Saddam's execution so where does that leave me?


Weenit's quote of the day...

It's when you think you finally have everything figured out, when you think you finally understand the order of the world, that someone or something pulls the security blanket of understanding right out from under your feet. We are all doomed to walk around in a constant state of confusion all the time, or at least until it drives us insane.