Yes, I love a good dive...

So, the other day I was enjoying the traditional bourbon and coke at a local dive bar when I read this on the bartender's shirt...

"Drink apple juice because OJ will kill you!"

Too funny.


Just a hunch...

I was sitting on my couch eating something I would never want to admit I put in my body and watching President Bush's latest press release. It got me thinking real deep about politics, so deep I almost got lost. However, I think I discovered why that third party guy Nader never wins. It's because he does not have a campaign slogan. Julie and I got together and brainstormed about it while picking up puppy poop. Here is what what we came up with.

"Nader the Masturbater, he gets it done."



Found an old poem I wrote, I forgot how much I liked this one. Hope you enjoy!

With you I shared the most intimate parts of me,
And only because I was sure you and I would forever be.
However, I discovered eternity is not forever,
It's limited by as far as we can see,
And who can see to forever?

- Tamy Nichole

On the topic of having sex with ninety year old men...

That is what we talked about in school today, aside from porn.

"Yeah baby, ride it!" (Katie got carried away)


And then she stole my heart...

I have become one of those people, those jogging in the park with their dog people, those walking down the street with there dog people, those talking like a baby to their dog people, those talk all the time about their dog people. Yes, I, the worlds biggest dog hater has become a proud owner, and I love it. My beautiful puppy makes me smile, even when she tries to rip the shag right out of my carpet. I feel like I have been exposed to a whole new world, the dog owner world. Suddenly I am on the inside, it's like I unlocked a door to some secret club and now I know all kinds of secrets. Funny thing is as a cat owner of more than a decade I never got that sense of being part of a "society". Maybe that's because cats are in general just an accessory to your house, dogs are friends. You can't take a cat for a walk, teach it to sit, roll over, or cuddle with it. In general, most cats want to be left alone except when THEY think you should pet them, and could care less about anything else but their daily bread. Don't get me wrong, cats are awesome, but I am in love with my new puppy. Pics will be posted as soon as my camera is replaced.

To the bastards who stole my camera...

Karma is going to get you if I don't get you first. I guarantee whatever punishment fate has in line for you won't be as painful as when I reach down your throat, grab hold of your nutsack, and pull it out so it dangles from your teeth, and that's just the foreplay. Seriously, do you even know how much that thing is worth, or better yet, how important that thing is to my lively hood? Of course not. I bet you just went to the closest pawn shop and gave it away for a very small fraction of its value. Truth is, the joke is on you cumbucket. If you had any brains at all you would have snagged the really expensive light meter, or the hard drive full of free porn, or maybe the lens cap and charger to the camera. Tell me, did you enjoy my pictures? I hope so as I worked very hard on them, my teacher would love to see them since they were part of my project. You taught me a valuable lesson, you pretty much suck. Just remember when your wife leaves you, then your dog dies, your house burns down, you get fired from your job, and you become an alcoholic, that was just God's way of answering my prayers.