Something I always wanted to know..

I always wanted to know the origin of fuck. According to my not so reliable sources it comes from the bible (no, that was not a typo). It stands for "Forbidden Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Who knew Jesus liked to curse?

Birthday, autocross, pridefest, oh yeah, and the Full Monty!

What a busy weekend! Here is all I have to say...

"The Fox Hole" Lives up to its name!

Justin, thank you for returning me home in one piece! Next time we will smoke some Mini ass!

Where were the church protesters? Lindsay and I came to the conclusion you realized five of you can't stop thousands of us! And bye the way, the parade should not run on Gay standard time! I can't stand still for an hour and a half.

I admit the black man in "The Full Monty" was so hot! I suddenly feel I need to improve my "pelvic thrust."

When did life get so interesting? Or is bizarre more like the word I was looking for?

Weenit's second quote of the day...

"Hey lady, let me touch your tuna."

So funny!

Weenit's quote for the day...

"I am in love with your gauge."

Jusitn, Thanks for this one!


Look, there are gullibles on the ceiling...

I remember a better time when children were easily convinced of anything. Today, times have changed. While I was trying to trick my son into taking a bath we had this conversation:

Me: James, the turtle is talking to me. He says you need to go take a bath.

James: (First of all woman) he's my turtle, and he does not talk to you.

Me: Yes he does and he says you need a bath.

James: Rolls his eyes No Mommy, turtles don't talk!

Me: Yes they do.

James: Mommy, MY turtle says you need to leave me alone. I don't need a bath!

When did I loose the upper hand?

Weenit's quote for the day...

Wise words from the mouth of a stripper (erhm, Dancer):

"Penises are like coleslaw. It's something to have on the side; sometimes you want it, sometimes you don't."

This has given me tons to ponder...


Weenit's quote for the day...

"He is afraid his sperm count will drop if he uses his brain for five minutes."


Weenit's conversation of the day...

Strange guy on bus bench: "Excuse me miss, are you working?"

Me: "No, I am just on my way home."

Strange guy on bus bench: "Are you sure? Cuz I'm looking."

Me: Roll my eyes and walk off.

Strange guy on bus bench: Screams, "You're a very beautiful girl, I pay well."

Can't a girl walk down Colfax in the middle of the night in heals with out being taken for a hooker? Oh, and to the strange guy on the bus bench, not everything on colfax is for sale. I'm not some pretty item in a store window you can purchase if you'd like.

No Tamy, selling your body IS wrong!

Weenit quote for the day...

"Merideth, you are my hero!"


Don't twist any further...

Someone (erhm, you know who you are) twisted my leg into doing this so please readers, bare with me.

I need to find someone who has a writley account to invite me as a member. Apparently, you can only get an account by being invited by someone who already has an account. I suppose that is what happens when great internet services are provided to the public free of charge by a bunch of amateurs who can't handle the growth. Anyways, if you have the service please invite me. My email is tamythomason@weenit.com

Ok, you can stop twisting now, I think it might break.

Strip clubs and step-dads (in my case the ex step-dad)

Recently, I made a stop at my local strip joint to have some lunch and fill out an application for a possible opening as a cocktail waitress. While I was there I noticed out of the corner of my eye a familiar face. I had to do a double take just to make sure it really was the spawn of Satan right there in MY strip club looking at MY strippers. Let me tell you, there is something so awkward about your ex step-dad catching you in a topless bar drinking alcohol, eating lunch, filling out an application, and looking at boobs. Suddenly my mind turned back into that innocent, prude, shy, and good little girl my ex step-dad last knew me as. I suddenly felt like at my moment he was going to come over and ground me to my room for a week, or knock me around the club. The last would have been more in his nature. It did, however, feel great to know he had no control over me, I could have gotten up on stage and ripped off my own clothes and there would have been nothing he could do about it. Security, however, could and probably would have done something.

I really wanted to go over and plant a luggie on his face, or maybe kick him in the nut sack for payback of ten years abuse. I quickly realized one quick kick or spit would never be enough to avenge my anger, and I doubt it would help get me a job. I kept quiet with my back turned to him wishing he would not notice me. My lack of confrontation left me feeling a bit congested with a few things I would really love to say to my ex step-dad...

To Leo (aka the spawn of Satan)

For starters, it really is time to retire that T-shirt. Isn't that ugly thing about as old as your addiction to porn? And by the way, you still look exactly the same, plus fifty pounds. Don't worry; I am sure your new wife Kiersten loves her men chubby. Where is Kiersten anyway? Does she know what you like to do with your Monday afternoons? If only she could have been there to see that smile grow across your lips as that stripper thrust her boobs into your face and rubbed the back of her neck on your shoulder. I wonder if she would have had the same vomit inducing reaction I did. Also, keep your hands off my strippers! It’s just too creepy to watch you desire girls as young as I am. It's feels like molestation. Oh, and you are still not off the hook with the whole luggie in your drink thing. Some day, some where, some how I will get you...

Weenit's quote of the day...

"I caught you a beautiful bass." - Napolean Dynamite

What I would give to be his girlfriend...


Weenit's quote of the day...

"Don't try to fill my mind with stuff like sports when I am busy thinking about getting busy with you."


She is one damn good bad driver!

My sisters and I have always been a bit strange, but strange together. We enjoy eating smoked oysters right out of the can, we can change our own oil, and we like to go midnight fishing. Last night we decided on a whim to head up to Camp Dick (stop giggling) for a quick fishing trip. By the time we got to the campsite it was probably ten at night. The campground host gave us a swift interrogation as to our intentions. She said no one had ever just driven up the side of a mountain, paid fourteen dollars in site fees, and sat around in the dark just to do a few hours of fishing. We just smiled at her, denied there would be any consumption of alcohol, and said it was the only time the three of us could manage to get together. She gave us a look and walked away. I imagine she was thinking we were insane but if our mother could have been there she would have been proud. We are her daughters to the core.

Any sort of rendezvous with my sisters and me always results in many offbeat but memorable moments. I would like to recap a few of those moments with some direct quotes:

When commenting on our lack of toilet paper Mindy said about Raquel, "The bitch can remember to bring shot glasses but forgot the toilet paper?"

As we discussed what resources we could substitute the toilet paper for Mindy said, "Use your sleeve. Just remember not to wipe your nose with your sleeve after wiping your ass with it."

When we pulled over on the side of the road to take a pee break Mindy said, "the grass is so long it's tickling my ass."

I'm starting to wonder when Mindy got so damn witty, and verbally disturbing. I am also wondering what she was thinking when she took that sharp curve going fifty miles per hour. My life came so close to ending, but I thank the lord my sister is one of the best worse drivers in the world. She gets herself in some bad situations but manages to maneuver through them. She somehow avoided colliding our tin can (aka Honda) with a cement wall, two ditches, and a light pole. The most amazing part of the whole incident was the fact that by the time it was over we were back in our lane of the road going in the right direction.

I will never forget the silence in the car as Raquel and I sat in astonishment watching the scenery spin by us. Nothing could be heard but the sound of the tires squealing and Will Smith breaking it down on the radio. When the car finally came to a stop Mindy sat there for a moment gripping the steering wheel. She had a look in her face that told me she was not sure if she should get out and let some one else drive or if she should just keep going. Then I turned and watched my baby sister anticipating her reaction. After all, it was her car we were in. I was waiting for her to either scream or scream and attack Mindy. She did neither, instead she told Mindy to get out of the car quiet calmly considering her nature. As soon as Raquel was in the driver seat and Mindy in the passenger seat I burst out in giggles and Mindy pointed out, "Hey at least were still going in the right direction." Just as Mindy said that we heard the sound of train whistles. At that moment I felt quite relieved Mindy managed to keep from crashing on the train tracks, it would have been ugly.

I included a diagram of the road and the course our car took. Enjoy...

If you want to see Justins interpretation of what happened go here.