She is one damn good bad driver!

My sisters and I have always been a bit strange, but strange together. We enjoy eating smoked oysters right out of the can, we can change our own oil, and we like to go midnight fishing. Last night we decided on a whim to head up to Camp Dick (stop giggling) for a quick fishing trip. By the time we got to the campsite it was probably ten at night. The campground host gave us a swift interrogation as to our intentions. She said no one had ever just driven up the side of a mountain, paid fourteen dollars in site fees, and sat around in the dark just to do a few hours of fishing. We just smiled at her, denied there would be any consumption of alcohol, and said it was the only time the three of us could manage to get together. She gave us a look and walked away. I imagine she was thinking we were insane but if our mother could have been there she would have been proud. We are her daughters to the core.

Any sort of rendezvous with my sisters and me always results in many offbeat but memorable moments. I would like to recap a few of those moments with some direct quotes:

When commenting on our lack of toilet paper Mindy said about Raquel, "The bitch can remember to bring shot glasses but forgot the toilet paper?"

As we discussed what resources we could substitute the toilet paper for Mindy said, "Use your sleeve. Just remember not to wipe your nose with your sleeve after wiping your ass with it."

When we pulled over on the side of the road to take a pee break Mindy said, "the grass is so long it's tickling my ass."

I'm starting to wonder when Mindy got so damn witty, and verbally disturbing. I am also wondering what she was thinking when she took that sharp curve going fifty miles per hour. My life came so close to ending, but I thank the lord my sister is one of the best worse drivers in the world. She gets herself in some bad situations but manages to maneuver through them. She somehow avoided colliding our tin can (aka Honda) with a cement wall, two ditches, and a light pole. The most amazing part of the whole incident was the fact that by the time it was over we were back in our lane of the road going in the right direction.

I will never forget the silence in the car as Raquel and I sat in astonishment watching the scenery spin by us. Nothing could be heard but the sound of the tires squealing and Will Smith breaking it down on the radio. When the car finally came to a stop Mindy sat there for a moment gripping the steering wheel. She had a look in her face that told me she was not sure if she should get out and let some one else drive or if she should just keep going. Then I turned and watched my baby sister anticipating her reaction. After all, it was her car we were in. I was waiting for her to either scream or scream and attack Mindy. She did neither, instead she told Mindy to get out of the car quiet calmly considering her nature. As soon as Raquel was in the driver seat and Mindy in the passenger seat I burst out in giggles and Mindy pointed out, "Hey at least were still going in the right direction." Just as Mindy said that we heard the sound of train whistles. At that moment I felt quite relieved Mindy managed to keep from crashing on the train tracks, it would have been ugly.

I included a diagram of the road and the course our car took. Enjoy...

If you want to see Justins interpretation of what happened go here.


shoeish said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
shoeish said...

This is what really happened: