Conversations with a five year old....

After a good friend of mine kicked me ruthlessly in the butt, teased me for being so lazy today, and then jokingly called me a bad mom within earshot of my toddler, he chimed in and retaliated with, "Merideth! My mommy is not a bad mommy, she just likes to beat kids."

Wait a minute, I do? What the? Where the? This kid is lucky he never had my stepfather as a parental figure, or he would actually know what a beating is. But seriously, he didn't help my case with the whole bad mom thing.

And later he told me he was remembering a time when he was a really cute baby inside my tummy. Of course, this was before he was born and wrecked havoc.

Feeling a little low on the totem pole...

I went to one of my best friend's graduation parties last night. It was a fun party, but being as I am currently unemployed and feeling more like a burden on society than anything else, I wasn't in much of a party mood. I am so happy to see her graduate college and do something successful with her life, but I can't lie, standing next to her and her light of success I am feeling way lame. I went to college, not once, not twice, but four different times. And it never quite worked for me, and not because I am incapable of learning, but because of everything else. Being a single mother, working full time to pay the bills, spending numerous hours in a class room, and then I am suppose to find time to study and do homework? There isn't enough time in the day. And yes, I have tried the online thing, but it always ends with me being way over stressed and dropping out.
So there I was thinking about how I wish I could melt into the ground and pretend like I didn't exist. Or at least wish I could have had the opportunity to grow up the right way, not the quick way. But that's what i get for running off and having and baby and getting married at such a young age. I hope when he is old enough I'll get a second chance to do things the right way, without the dorm rooms.

You know your head is in the clouds when...

You go to put on a pair of pants and realize you already have a pair on. It wasn't me, it was A.J. but still funny.

Anyways, I got fired, so commence day one of unemployment, for in a day or two I start work again... Should my unemployment break be longer?

A new years I wish...

This year I decided to ex nay on the new years resolutions, considering after I read my new years blog from last year and realized I hadn't accomplished a single one, and make a few new years wishes.

First, I wish never to have another hangover again.

Second, I wish to be just as content single next year as I am now.

Third, I wish to spend one last night in the arms of the man who constantly haunts my dreams, but only as one last memorable moment before I let go, which is something I am finally ready to do.

And finally, I wish to conquer all my inverted and emotional turmoil, because letting go is hard, but not knowing what comes after his harder...

Bless this new year, it will be my first spent humbly.

Weenit's quote of the day...

Here is something my baby cousin wrote on her blog, and it really struck a cord with me, maybe because I suffered my first and only breakdown, and her quote shead some light on the subject...

"If you have a mental breakdown and fall to you knees, it only has meaning to you. The world doesn't give a shit, and when it's all said and done you still have to stand up and walk away. You can't just melt. You still exist, and so does the rest of the world. " - Stephanie Ashburn

She has a way with being blunt and to the point while keeping it poetic doesn't she? My question is, why hasn't she been published yet?