Feeling a little low on the totem pole...

I went to one of my best friend's graduation parties last night. It was a fun party, but being as I am currently unemployed and feeling more like a burden on society than anything else, I wasn't in much of a party mood. I am so happy to see her graduate college and do something successful with her life, but I can't lie, standing next to her and her light of success I am feeling way lame. I went to college, not once, not twice, but four different times. And it never quite worked for me, and not because I am incapable of learning, but because of everything else. Being a single mother, working full time to pay the bills, spending numerous hours in a class room, and then I am suppose to find time to study and do homework? There isn't enough time in the day. And yes, I have tried the online thing, but it always ends with me being way over stressed and dropping out.
So there I was thinking about how I wish I could melt into the ground and pretend like I didn't exist. Or at least wish I could have had the opportunity to grow up the right way, not the quick way. But that's what i get for running off and having and baby and getting married at such a young age. I hope when he is old enough I'll get a second chance to do things the right way, without the dorm rooms.

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