2/21/2008

God hath no wrath like a woman without a g-spot!

A few weeks ago a couple of Mormons found themselves on my doorstep (poor bastards). They were, of course, trying to convert me. I was as polite, as a girl disrupted from a nap could be, as I told them not to waste their time because I am an atheist. And do you know what they said to that? They asked me if, "I found it kind of depressing to think there was nothing waiting for me after this life."

Is that the best they've got? Like, do they really expect to convert me with a comeback like that? No, it's not depressing. What's depressing is the thought that people like them will devote a good portion of their lives to serving a God that isn't real, when this is the only life they have got.

Hello, you are not getting those years back. Shouldn't you be out getting laid and snorting cocaine or something?

But do you want to know what thought really depresses me? Abby over at Girl With a One Track Mind posted a link to this article about the female g-spot. Or more accurately, the lack there of.

This article says what I have been saying for years; not every woman has a g-spot.

I know ladies. Take a minute, sit back, swallow it, and take some time to digest that one.

The article suggests that only women with a G-spot can have a vaginal orgasm, and that only 20-25% of women have experienced a vaginal orgasm. Do you people know what this means? This means I, one of those unlucky girls without that elusive G-spot, will never have a vaginal orgasm.

If you could have seen my face when I realized this it would have looked quite similar to the face I had when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I do not like the idea that I have been robbed of a very vital part of my sexual anatomy.

That people, is very good proof there is no God. What kind of supreme being would do such a thing to me? The next time a Mormon asks me why I don't believe in God I will tell them it's because I have no G-spot. I bet that will get them.

I, like a good portion of my fellow women, have to rely solely on my clit to get me off. So now Merideth, are you so surprised to know I have never had a vaginal orgasm? just consider yourself lucky lady...

Anyways, it's not just us ladies who have to suffer through this, what about the men we bed? It can be a tough blow on a man's ego if his girl never gets off. Take my baby sister and her man for example, she has never in her life experienced an orgasm of any kind. I wonder how he feels about it? I'm willing to bet my life that much like me she does not have a G-spot, leaving all the luck up to the clit. But the problem with clits is they are not all the same. Some are bigger and thus more receptive to touch. And some, like mine, are smaller, and need a little extra TLC and a very talented touch.

I got doubly screwed.

My point is, if your one of the 75-80% of women who have never experienced a vaginal orgasm, get a good vibrator and a man who gives some killer cunnilingus. And don't let any one tell you there is something wrong with you or your vagina. You are not alone.

And for the men, just be patient with your lady if she is one of the less fortunate. Chances are, she is just as frustrated as you are. I'd recommend brushing up on your cunnilingus, and remember that practice makes perfect.

Fun Fact: Did you know, the G-spot was named after the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg who was the first to hypothesize the exsistence of the G-spot. To this day, the G-spot has not been proven to actually exist, and may be just an internal part of the clitoris. Neither theory has been proven or disproved.

No comments: