I am in a bad mood! I wonder, why? Maybe it's because I stood out in the cold for thirty minutes waiting for someone to come home and let me in the damn house because my key doesn't work. And why doesn't my key work? Because it was a key I had from years ago, that and the locks have since been changed.
I'm glad I only had to wait thirty minutes, but I was fearing the wait would be much longer so do you know what I tried to do? Like the smart girl I am, I tried to get onto the roof so I could get to the upstairs window. Funny thing is that was the only window that was unlocked; can you imagine the irony? So there I am wondering how in the hell to get on the damn roof when I see a stack of tires. Yes, I said tires. They were those big tires like you see on monster trucks, I think these did come off a monster truck. What they were doing in my Mom's backyard is a whole other story. Anyways, the tires were stacked on top of one another high enough I could stand shoulder to roof on top of them so I climb my chicken ass on up them. Only problem was, once I got up I realized there was no way of pulling myself up over the ledge except by the gutter, and my butt is far too big to be supported by a gutter.
I had to give up that brilliant idea and climb down. Next I figured I would try climbing down into the window well of one of the basement windows to see if it would open. It didn't, and then of course I got stuck in there. I thought someone would have to call the fire dept to save my ass.
And do you know what happened when my mom came home and found me sitting on the porch covered in dirt with ripped blue jeans from my escape in that damn pit? She laughed at me. Seriously, it was so not funny. Next time she drinks to much and passes out by the pool I'm just going to laugh at her and leave her there. That will teach her!