Your ass is bigger than mine. Much bigger. Just because you can squeeze your cheeks into my jeans does not mean you should, nor does it mean your ass and my ass are the same size. Furthermore, I do not think this is an argument you and I need to have every single damn day. Asses aside, I think we should discuss this noise issue. You have a huge projection television downstairs, so why is there a need to watch the midget sized television from 1974 in the living room late at night? You know this wakes me up, and waking me up is a very good way to meet my ugly side, also known as the side of Tamy who will bite off your head if you look at her wrong.
So, I call a truce. You admit your ass is bigger, and much bigger than mine, and I will pretend like it doesn't even exist. That's right, next time I feel the need to make reference to the mass of your ass I will hold it back. I want you to know how much this will hurt me, almost as much as it will hurt you to take your evening noise downstairs. Which brings me to the other half of our bargain, if you want to watch the television when I am asleep you watch it down stairs. In return, I will make sure my shoes don't find there way onto my feet early in the morning while I get ready for work. Do we have a deal?
Your loving sister...