There is something that has been festering inside of me like one of those little alien babies waiting to burst out of my belly.
When we broke up, Mack pulled the kid card on me...
(Seriously dude, fuck you.)
Anyways, I am a firm believer that if you enter a dating scenario with someone who is open and honest with you, with someone who tells you they have a kid before you even agree to the first date, that if you do agree on that first date, you forever loose your right to use that kid card.
So here is the thing. I always tell anyone I intend to get involved with that I have a kid, but I ease it into our inital conversation. First I charm them with my wit and my pearly white teeth, then I drop the bomb on them.
It's a true and tried process that never fails.
Except I think it does fail, because once I get to the part where I tell them, well, I'm not one hundred percent sure what goes on in a guys mind, but I assume they have to that point decided I'm a pretty awesome chick, so me having a kid isn't so bad.
Except it is, and later on in the relationship they pull out the kid card and shove it in my face and say shit like, "If we become more serious down the road then I'll have a lot more responsibilities with your son."
And to that I once again say, fuck you.
And mostly because it's untrue. I need no help with my son, and he still has a father who takes great care of him. The only responsibility any man in my life would ever have towards my son would to be a good role model. But, then again, I know that can be asking too much for a man who likes to spend all his free time at a bar drinking beer and playing pool with his buddy.
But the thing that really gets me steaming about the fact that he illegally pulled the kid card on me is that I don't really think my kid was his problem.
He had other problems, but not enough balls to lay it all out on the table. What a man.
I think from now on when I meet someone the first thing I will say to him is "Hi, my name is Tamy, and I have a kid." Before I charm them with my devilish good looks and whit.
That way I get to see their first reaction, which we all know is the truest reaction. Because really, the next time a boyfriend pulls the kid card on me, I'm likely to punch him right in the face.
P.S. Fake teeth? I mean, really? How could anyone not laugh at that. Pick the fucking wedgie and get over it.