2/19/2008

The war on bush...

No, I am not talking about the president...

I'm talking about pubes people, and I've got plenty of them. The thing is, my mother mated with a gorilla, and do you have any clue how hairy those fuckers are? Yeah, I have to wax and pluck and shave constantly. But the one patch of body hair I don't mind to keep around is a small patch or "racing stripe" of hair on my crotch. It's trim and clean and reminds me that "Hey! I'm not a twelve year old prepubescent girl anymore."

But recently, a particular someone who has been spending some time with my crotch has started to complain about that little patch of hair. Apparently, he likes the smooth and hairlessness of a twelve year old crotch.

But doesn't he know that I am a creature of habit? I always put the peanut butter on my sandwich before the jelly, I brush my bottom teeth first, and I have never shaved that patch of hair. It just seems so unnatural.

And now, he wants me to change the way I have been doing something for all of my adult life? Doesn't he know what it does to my mental stability when my way of doing something is disrupted? Yeah, there isn't enough Valium in the north Americas...

4 comments:

Historical Wit said...

That seems to me that someone wants to change you into the image of their liking. I would have to tell this person spending time with your crotch that your crotch is exactly the way you like your crotch to be. Whats next? Breast implants? Butt augmentation? Botox? I know that seems kind of extreme, but (especially dudes) guys have a hard time separating that madonna and whore complex thing. Be careful, this could be the opening of a pandoras box.

Weenit said...

Madonna and whore complex thing? What is that?

Historical Wit said...

A majority of guys have this problem separating the real and unreal. They have these set of standards or qulaifications a girl must have for them to be deemed worthy. Its a bunch of crap. It comes from watching to much porn and objectifying women. So a guy will demand a girl must be devoted to him, his clean wholesome girl that would never do anything bad. But then he wants her to have this dirty slutty streak at the same time because hes been watching porn for years and this is how he thinks of said girl. The whacked part is if said guy ever finds out said girl did this kinky stuff with another guy, said guy flips out. The impossible double standard. This is why many guys have problems coexisting with the opposite sex. They never really come to grips with the notions a sex sells culture that has corrupted their thoughts since they were 7. Ulitmately its all about control, control on many levels. I saw the light and darkness of my ways after I landed broken from a real firecracker. Some guys never get cracked and thus they never realize how incredibly harmful they are in their ways.

Weenit said...

I got ya.

But I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt, it just doesn't seem like him, however, there are plenty of men in the world like that.

Hi Christopher! Did you read what he said? Stop watching so much porn!