These last couple of weeks have been tough on me and I don't know how to express it. I've done my best to keep quiet about some things that are bothering me but in the end It only makes me feel worse. I'm censoring myself because I don't want to upset anyone else; I think I'm done worrying about that, it's time I vent.
It was probably a month ago when a good friend of mine told me as we walked down the street that he had a few job offers out of state, one of which was in Kentucky. It was a bit presumptuous of me to blow it off, but he didn't sound very serious, it seemed to me like he was only trying to make casual conversation. I was so very wrong. A few weeks later I got a phone call from him, he was moving, and every call since then he makes sure to mention it at least once. Well, I hope it's a really awesome job he's leaving home for because Kentucky just does not seem like the kind of place a man like him belongs. Most anyone who knows me knows this man has a special place in my heart, it's hard to let him go so far away and know that I may never see his smile again. Our almost decade long relationship has always felt Like a slow and cruel form of torture for me, always wanting but never getting. It's kind of like a diabetic kid in a candy store, only now the shop has closed and that kid can only remember the way his mouth salivated as he stood there eying the peppermints and chocolates.
One other thing that has been bothering me is the new tension at work. See it all started a few weeks ago when my boss came to me and said that I should stay far away from one of my co-workers, well just call him jailbait for reasons I should not have to explain. The thing about jailabit is that he is serial bad boy, and what woman doesn't love a bad boy? That's not the point. The point is I burst out laughing when my boss said this to me because I couldn't believe he had the notion that jailbait and I had anything going on, we are only co-workers at best. Apparently when two people from the same place of employment ask for the same day off on the same memo it means they're dating. I just laughed and told my boss jailbait and I just wanted the same day off and happened to both be in the office at the same time requesting it off so we wrote it on the same piece of paper.
I admit it was an understandable assumption, I just did not know how understandable. Later that day jailbait showed up to work and I told him what happened, he was infuriated. I simply could not understand why it made him so upset, not until a few nights later when the pieces all came together. It turns out jailbait does have a thing for me. So there I was spending some quality off work time with jailbate drinking and talking about art when he spills the beans. I turned him down as gracefully as I could, leaving him disappointed. I'm discomforted when I wonder how things will be at work this week. I hope a lot smother than my own mind makes them.
On a final note, I think I am sick and tired of everyone telling me having a puppy was a bad ideal. I set a goal for myself, knowing that the only reason I disliked dogs was because I did not understand them, to master dog ownership. So far it's going well. He may have chewed a few things up but doesn't every puppy? And he may restrict me with traveling, but it's just like having a kid, and I've got that under control. Besides, he has provided me with some companionship and loyalty that no human has ever been able to give me. I just really don't like people telling me I can't do something, I'm like a kid. If you say I can't I'm going to try my hardest to succeed. Just a note to all you nay-sayers out there, the puppy and I are doing just fine.