I really suck at life, at least that is the general census. Ask Mr. Lee, he will tell you I suck so much I am not even worthy of waiting tables in Denver's trashiest bar. In fact, he thought I was so bad at it he even fired me. Ok, lets get real. I may have mixed up a couple of orders, mistakenly called a few bull dykes gentlemen, and doused one customer in a kamikaze, but does that really mean I suck? Maybe it wasn't any of those things that got me fired. Maybe it was because Mr. Lee overheard me talking to Jeremy about dubbies, maybe it was because I spent too much time smearing Gavin's limbs across the restaurant. Oh well, not like I liked that job anyways, and no I am not bitter. But I do have a few last words for everyone there.

To Mr. Lee: I never paid for my hot chocolate, my hash browns, or my eggs. Oh yeah, I am keeping my apron so suck it.

To Christina: Don't bring infants into smoky bars! Also, you're not very friendly, I suggest asking Mr. Lee to pull that enema out of your ass. It might help to relieve some tension.

To Constantine: Try just for once to be on time, and stop waxing your head. Shiny bald craniums are not sexy.

To Jeremy: Keep hot boxing it, just don't let Mr. Lee find out. We all know he has a very strict anti-drug policy.

To Gavin: I know you will mourn for your unrequited love but just remember; I don't do hippies.


No, I’m not bitter!

Weenit's quote for the day...

This came from the lovely Miss Merideth Pryor...

"Charlie Brown, you rock my world!"

When birds have diarrhea...

Lately, it seems, my car is the victim of many hit and runs, and in last night's case, hit and fly. Never before in my life have I seen one car covered in so much bird crap! Never in my life have I seen a whole parking lot of cars covered in as much bird crap as mine. I want to find the fucker who feed those birds laxatives and make him lick their crap off my windshield. And for the asshole who did a hit and run on my bumper: if I ever find you, well, lets just say your testicles will become this year's Christmas tree ornament.

A very special day!

Today is a very special day. I know you are all thinking, "of course it is Weenit, it's Memorial Day!" Ha, you are so very wrong. It is also my dear sister Mindy's birthday. More exciting, it's her twenty-first birthday! Since it's the big one I have a particular goal in mind; I must get her so drunk she vomits last weeks breakfast! After all, it is tradition.

I love this town!

I live in the best city in the world. Really, no other town can crack up to Denver. Here is my supporting evidence...

1) Free live entertainment, even on the bus. Sure, it may be some homeless guy who pees on himself but he sure knows how to rock out.

2) Liquor store on every corner.

3) Bar on every corner.

4) If your not of age there is a crack dealer on every corner.

5) Hippies (need I say more?)

6) Pride fest, Beer fest, October fest (basically a million different events revolving around drinking).

7) Cheesman park...

8) Elitches...

9) Sing Sing...

10) And don't forget about Colfax!

Yep, I love this town...