To my birthday boy...

It was four years ago that I birthed you from between my ripping loins, and if I had known what a pain you were going to be I can't say I would do it again. Wait, scratch that. if I had known what a pain your father was going to be I can't say that I would do it again. But really, I love you with all my heart, your smile (much like the one shown below) is what forces me to go on when I really feel as though I can no longer hold on. But seriously kid, the last four years have been a bit bumpy so lets work on that? I think your first goal in life should be to gather some grace. You are clumsier than I am, so don't ever run with scissors or any other object that can impale you. And I would also recommend you take an acting class or two because I don't think even you are convinced you are mad when you throw a tantrum. Try putting some passion into it, maybe you could throw yourself on the floor and slam your head against the wall. At least then I would be forced to stop you before you injure yourself. But once again my love, happy birthday.


Pissed off kid with a mohawk and a dog...