Please go fuck yourself. Without lube. Just you and your dry flaky hand.
In fact, I bet that is what you're doing right now, instead of fixing my broken service. What else could you have been doing for the last THREE months? Seriously, and every time I call about it things only get worse. Which leads me to believe you must just be fucking with me.
It's not nice, so knock it off please.
All I want is to be able to drunk text people and receive their responses, is that too much to ask? seriously, text messaging is a very ineffective tool if it only works one way. I feel like a deaf person having a verbal conversation with someone else. They may be picking up what I'm laying down but I'll be damned if I have any clue what's going on.